Refusing

Every Spring my mother-in-law buys my children new pairs of crocs.  In case you're not familiar:

Croc are not biodegradable nor recyclable

They're not biodegradable nor can you recycle them.  My kids will wear them down until the straps are broken and there is at least one hole in the sole.  I cannot reuse these nor can I pass them on. Inevitably they end up in a landfill:(

This spring I failed to talk to my mother-in-law before she went out and made her purchase.  When we walked into her house there, on the floor were three brand-new pairs of crocs in their favorite colors, the price tags still dangling from the thin plastic cord. My eldest looked to me, for he realized this was something we didn't use anymore.  My middle and youngest immediately went for them, excited and appreciative of her gift, while I stood dumbstruck. 

I guess you could get creative with your left over crocs...?

I knew at this point, I was to model a kind way of refusing, yet when I looked at my mother-in-law's pleased expression I knew there was no way I was going to rain on her parade.  I was conscious of my options at hand: A) I could gently explain our zero-waste philosophy on environmental friendly items and suggest we all go to the store and exchange them for something more appropriate OR B)Accept and learn to prepare for future obstacles similar- a private conversation about her purchases for us and what would be more acceptable.

I chose B.  I accepted the moment and as dismayed as I was to have shoes that I didn't condone, I knew to fight this traditional current would have a negative impact at this point.  I accepted, acknowledging there was a kinder way to deal with the situation. 

There's this thing I refer to as, The Crossover and I'll write about it in more detail in my next post.  The Cross-over is the phases ones lifestyle takes to go zero-waste.  It's moments like the crocs and your mother-in-law that you've over-looked.  You're still learning.  Be easy with yourself.

When I was alone with my kids again, we talked about the situation.  They amazed me when they started brainstorming ways we could use those crocs when they couldn't wear them anymore: A house for their toy figures, a ferry for their cars. 

Stinky old shoe could be your pencil holder for life!

They asked me why their grandma would buy a plastic item and this opened a discussion on how she didn't know about the environmental impacts, just as we hadn't at one time.  I introduced to them the importance of their zero-waste choices and how they were like messengers to others to model a more earth-friendly way of living.  They liked this and I felt at peace, knowing I was teaching my kids purpose, and grateful for their reactions, showing me they were understanding our zero-waste lifestyle.  

It's easy to refuse a plastic straw at a restaurant, to take a cloth napkin with you in place of using a cotton one.  It's even pretty easy to refuse your receipt and plastic shopping bag.  Refusing gifts from loved ones takes some pre-meditative planning and it can be difficult at times. 

This croc episode got me thinking about future gifts and I decided to call my mother-in-law and talk about up-coming birthdays and Christmas.  I offered to sew her celebration bags to use in place of wrapping.  She was very cool with that.  I suggested gifts I knew my kids would love, and being a person who shows her love with gifts, she was all-ears.  Gift givers aim to find the perfect gift.  Work with that.  Those stack-able stainless steel containers...or the steel straws you keep seeing come up in Eco-friendly ads...drop the hints.  

Stack-able Containers for Yourself or Kids

Stainless Steel Straws

The Cross-Over involves learning from our situations and getting creative with our solutions.  Next year my mother-in-law will understand better where we're coming from and the shoes waiting will be pairs more sustainable and environmentally kind.  My eldest will have learned the grace in acceptance and gentle speech towards ones who don't yet get our choices.  

Do the best you can and then do a little more.  Little by little, it becomes familiar and those around you will learn your new flow and hopefully join it.